Epicness is a warm gun

Harvey: Hey!

-

RJ: Hey what? Is that ought to be something like a knock-knock joke?

-

Harvey: Christ, RJ, why so thin-skinned?

-

RJ: I'm excited like a child on christmas eve...

-

Harvey: You see me in sheer astonishment. I'd never guessed you have feelings.

-

RJ: Can't wait for the main event...

-

Harvey: You really, rellay surprise me tonight. Maybe not all hope is lost...

-

RJ: ... can't wait to see those dickheads beart each other to cripples, so someone cool gets the main event spots in the future.

-

Harvey: And as always, it's an honor to work with you, RJ. Anyways, I was wondering why it is so suspiciously quiet. Usually Xander would be up for some smack talking and...

-

*He gets interrupted as the first chords of "Cyclone" by Monster Magnet, which isn't known as an entrance theme of any RWU star.*

-

RJ: I like the music, but, to quote Michael Jackson, "who is it?"

-

*Smoke starts to cover the entrance. Spots light up everything from behind. The silouhette of a man becomes visible*

-

Harvey: Sheppard, I swear, if you start singing the Bohemian Rhapsody, you'll regret it!

-

RJ: ... but I see a little silouhetto of a man...!

-

*A noise as if a hand hits the back of a head is clearly audible. The crowd is waiting in anticipation for the one stepping out. The shadow starts moving. Out comes Xander - unexpectedly. The people in the arena welcome him with a massive pop.*

-

Harvey: A new theme for the aspiring champion? I think, he'll have to explain this.

-

RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to point out that I am a victim of abuse.

-

Harvey: ... but it still didn't make you shush...

-

RJ: Never! I am going to stand up and fight for my rights.

-

Harvey: God help us all...

-

*Xander seems focussed, but not overly tense. He tags fans and lets them celebrate his entrance. He's in wrestling gear and it looks like he's already ready to go. He approaches the ring, wastes no time and gets himself a microphone.*

-

Xander: I hope you guys like the new music. I thought it was time for a little change there.

-

*In response, the crowd starts cheering for him once more*

-

Xander: See, the role of everybody's darling is new to me. In the past, I talked a lot of the changes that shook me. And by now, my old entrance theme was related to the old Xander. But I didn't come up randomly with a Monster Magnet song.

-

Harvey: No, you came up with it because it rocks!

-

*In front of RJ a sign can be seen. It says "On strike for humane working conditions". This is followed by yet another smack to the head*

-

Xander: Have you ever heard of Dave Wyndorf? No? He's the lead singer and essence of Monster Magnet. He's a man living of a highlight years ago. He tumbled into a swamp of drugs and alcohol and almost died. But he survived, got clean and started focussing on his music again. He produced his best album in ages. It wasn't a commercial success. But it was his comeback. A comeback of life. One of the songs he wrote is called "Cyclone" - and that's what you just heard.

-

Harvey: RJ, I know you can't hold it any longer...

-

RJ: ...

-

Harvey: Spit it!

-

RJ: ... what an interesting excursion from Xander...

-

Harvey: Good boy!

-

RJ: I hate you, Lameson.

-

Xander: You may ask yourself - why does he change his theme right now? Well, two seasons ago I started my very own comeback. I was stuck in a similar swamp as Dave Wyndorf. I had turned in a bitter, mean and brutal man. I tried to compensate my doubts, tried to numb my conscience with alcohol. I crashed. I burned. But somehow, I managed to be the phoenix, rising from my own ashes.

-

*The audience shows respect and applaudes*

-

Xander: It wasn't easy to find back the drive. All I ever achieved collapsed the night I reached the top. That hangover was one of the killing kind. I restarted - all alone, as I thought. But in my time in The Breeding Grounds, I found out, I'm not. The most impact on me had the stint with The Reckoning. Two people gave me a perspective, something to fight for again: The first is Johnny Blaze, the other's... my oponent tonight... Blackdoom.

-

*Mentioning Blackdoom causes mixed reactions. There are some boos, but also support.*

-

Xander: It's strange to step into the ring against an former ally. I'm not saying we are friends... we're colleagues... we know how each other ticks. Facing Blackdoom is something that I was able to avoid for a dozen of seasons now. I admire his resolution, his physical dominance. But I don't fear it. I stepped into the ring with some of the best in this game. I lost, I won, I learned.

-

Xander: People asked me, if I went insane, battling Blackdoom in an Ironman Match. The answer is most likely yes, but then again - no. I absolutely knew what I was doing. And yes, it scared me a bit. But what is hapen tonight is an epic battle. I'm not talking about good versus evil, I'm talking about two veterans clashing who have seen it all. A one fall is not enough of a suitable setting for this battle. Neither is a Last Man Standing. To make this really epic, it had to be an Ironman. Something, that causes both of us to go beyond our limits. Far beyond.

-

*The crowd cheers in excitement. They realize, that they're probably about to witness one of the best wrestling matches ever.*

-

Xander: People tell me, that I won't stand a chance against Blackdoom. "He'll destroy you" they say. Well, maybe they're right. I know I am the ultimate underdog. But hey... life's full of underdogs scoring for the big win. Sometimes all it takes is faith, bravery and skills. Sometimes it's not about winning... sometimes it's just about fighting. Being given the opportunity of being the RWU champion... YOUR champion... is something, that already makes me a winner. I will take a stand in this very ring. Like 300 Spartans, I will not... surrender. I will not retreat. Blackdoom, you will have to knock me out or drain the last spark of life out of my body before I give up. I will ensure, this battle will rise to epicness. I will ensure, that none of you people will ever forget this night.

-

*The audience erupts and goes wild over Xander's announcement.*

-

Xander: Tonight... I am here to win. I am here to prove, that everyone who trusted in me, was right. I am here to prove, that it was right to change my way of living. I am here to prove, that I can be part of legends myself. I am here to prove, that I am amongst the number ones in this business. I am here, to fulfill my destiny and complete my comeback.

-

*Xander! and RWU! chants echo through the arena. Xander prepares to leave, but hesitates.*

-

Xander: Ah, I almost forgot something...

-

RJ: Underpants? Drawing a line? A dictionary?

-

Xander: As always... there's greatness guaranteed *smirks*

-

*He throws the mic away, the people pop once more and Xander heads backstage again - preparing himself for one of the most important matches in his career*