Remake: Introducing A Gangsta

*The camera blooms from black to a screen with Richard Jacov in front of it. He doesn't seem happy, but introduces his guest.*

Jacov: Huuh. Laadies and gents, I have here the rookie of this damn company, he is B--bb-Big--Nate......BigNateJeezy? What kind of name is that? Are you stupid? Of all the names you get to choose or create this is what you come up with?

BigNateJeezy: ......

Jacov: Oh, great, another dumbass who doesn't talk. This is fantastic. I really just HAD to bring you out here. Anyway, who the hell are you?

BigNateJeezy: My name iz BigNateJeezy and Im tha Gngsta of dis damn fed, suhn. I dont need sorry ass interviews like dis to prove myself to tha big bois, im just here to wrestle and set a good ass impression, so dat one day, juz one day, I can be understood. My speed and agility iz unstopable, nobody can stop me. Juz like last week, I showed I wuz tha man. I beat dat cat HLR wateva tha hell tha rest of his name wuz?
Jacov: What do you mean? I cant even understand you by the way you're talking. Why am I always he one to be stuck with these complicated bastards?

BigNateJeezy: ........

Jacov: Whatever. What are your plans here?

*BigNateJeezy grins*

BigNateJeezy: My plans? Im keepin it real for now, so I'll juz say diis: Im tha worst in tha game right now. But I aint git signed for no reason. So when I begin to rise, yall big bois might wanna watch out, cuz dere's a storm comin, and it's comin hard az hell. NateJeezy dont play. I came to wrestle. And dats fiinal. So da next person who comes in my path, dis iz my challenge. I aint beat dat kid last week for no reason, I beat him cuz of my pure talent. Dat wuz my example. So everyone in tha division, just watch ur damn baks. Cuz a new face haz showed up in tha business, and hiz name iz BigNateJeezy. Next week im in action again. I'll show yall who's fo real and who's fakin. Im out.

*BigNateJeezy walks away and Jacov turns to the camera*

Jacov: And that's all fo---

*BigNateJeezy comes back in Jacov's face, holding his suit with his hands.*

BigNateJeezy: And if u eva, and I mean eva call me a 'bastard'. Ima make sure yo punkass git in tha damn ring wit me. I mean business, and I dont need no low rate interviewer to put me in a bad ass mood, I can do thins, suhn. So watch ur back too!

*BigNateJeezy pushes Jacov ino a near wall and walks away*